I have to start with the best this week, and let me assure you: this might make my “all time faves” list.
I recognize that real estate is expensive in the city, and that goes for both purchase and rent.
So while I don’t want to come off as unsympathetic to those that are trying to find a place to rent, I did find this MLS listing humourous.
After all, you just never see this on MLS:
Wow, that’s a lot to digest!
First of all, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “room rental” on MLS before. Maybe once or twice, but this isn’t a thing, okay?
Secondly, “female roommate only” is so far at odds with what’s acceptable in society in 2023, right or wrong, that I’m surprised people aren’t up in arms about this!
Now, if you’re wondering which room is for rent, don’t worry, because this photo is in the listing:
Ah, right! It’s that one!
I mean, I don’t know that the diagram was necessary, but I think there’s an A++ for effort here.
Same goes for the use of the draw tool in Paint and the ALL CAPS title.
But still, there’s more.
Because the listing continues…
A hypo-allergenic cat, you say?
Tame and friendly, doesn’t smell?
Sounds good!
If only we had an idea of what the cat looked like…
Ah, yes!
Thankfully, the cat is in the photos!
“Won’t get along with dogs,” but that’s okay.
Cute cat.
Can’t wait to see her close up!
I won’t need to wait, you see, because multiple photos in the MLS listing are of the cat instead of the property!
Maybe this is a sign of things to come on MLS?
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Is that a dog or a statue of a dog?
I honestly don’t know…
Okay, okay.
But this dog is a statue……….right?
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This next picture is going to be the butt of all jokes:
No, seriously.
This is an MLS photo for a house listed for sale.
And that’s the living room.
For those who don’t have their glasses, that’s a butt on the TV.
I’ll zoom in:
How does this make it past quality control at whatever brokerage has this listed?
Oh….wait…
–
We had a running bet in my office: how long does it take the purveyor of this fine property to realize it’s overpriced by ten times?
The price was changed at 6:42pm that night.
I mean, it’s not terrible. It only took a full day to correct this!
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This next one is amazing.
Look at the photo array for this property.
Not only is the “feature photo” a picture of the outside of the door in the hallway, but it’s also got twenty-four sideways photos:
They also have multiple photos repeated, and/or photos of the same thing from a 3% different angle.
Do photos matter?
Does marketing matter?
Who could say?
I’m sure there’s zero correlation between the quality of a listing and how long it’s been on the market…
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I also really liked this listing where they took six photos and two were of the outside of the building and four were of a naked mattress:
They call that “marketing.”
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I’m a terrible real estate agent.
I also have a low I.Q.
I have no clue what this next photo is of.
If only somebody could use size-10 font and type the room overtop the photo for me…
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This is a photo of a floor, which could have only been taken accidentally as somebody was basically falling forward.
And yet, this appeared in an MLS listing for a property offered for sale by a “professional”…
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If there’s CAUTION tape in the lobby, should we expect a chalk-body outline in the gym?
Sure, tell me that’s from the pandemic if you want, and that my joke about something horrific taking place in this otherwise swanky condo lobby is untoward.
But why would somebody include this photo on MLS? That’s what I don’t understand!
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You know that the property you’re looking at is quite poor when there’s a photo of the hallway elevators in the MLS listing:
But how bad are things when there are THREE PHOTOS OF THE HALLWAY ELEVATOR IN THE LISTING?!!?
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Say what you want about this couch and about the sister loveseat, but I guarantee one thing: nobody is ever coming over and embarrassing you by saying, “I have this exact same couch!”
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Last, but not least: if you read in the listing that the property includes “stainless steel appliances” in the kitchen, are you excited?
I am!
But would you feel a little disappointed if the kitchen looked like this?
Well, at least there’s a half-bottle of Palmolive left behind, right?
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Ace Goodheart
at 9:39 am
The question I would have about the last pic is “why is there a shower in the kitchen?”.
Seriously. Look closely. The plumbing is still there as is the shower base. Rest of it seems to have disappeared (maybe went to the same place as the kitchen / bathroom ceiling?).
JL
at 11:32 am
I’m more puzzled by how that ceiling insulation is defying gravity and not collapsing downwards, along with those randomly placed wooden planks.
Toad
at 11:37 pm
I assume the shower is actually part of a bathroom that is right beside the kitchen… but the wall of the bathroom is town down, exposing the shower. You can see the door to the bathroom just to the right of it.
A full bathroom on what appears to be the main floor? Interesting.
Anwar
at 11:31 am
Kidding aside, can you actually advertise female-only or is that discriminatory?
Ace Goodheart
at 1:32 pm
The situation seems more complex than even that.
One might ask “is the roommate requesting someone who identifies as female, someone who is biologically female, or someone whose sexual attraction is to adult males?”
I think the listing needs to be more specific.
Ed
at 11:31 am
Well the suspense is killing me. How much is the room, with the cat as a room mate, renting for?
Ed
at 12:14 pm
Well, at least there’s a half-bottle of Palmolive left behind, right?
/////////////
That’s staging Palmolive.
Marty
at 12:28 pm
Does the listing intake people have no “panic button” whatsoever, to stall or hold, or insist on a review of this kinds of thing?
It makes the industry look silly.
Ace Goodheart
at 1:55 pm
Looks like “15 minute cities” are coming to Toronto.
Promoted by the woke movement in their usual “you are either with us, or you are with the terrorists ” way of forcing their unpopular ideas on an unwilling public (if you don’t agree that the 15 minute city is a great idea, you are a far right conspiracy theorist).
15 minute cities (or 15 minute prisons, as they are more commonly referred to by the people forced to live in them) basically refers to your city getting cut up into districts, in which a person is allowed to travel roughly 15 minutes from their home, to access goods and services.
Any such travel must be done by foot (cars are banned).
The socialists install cameras around the perimeter and those caught crossing the line receive “warning letters” from city administrators.
The idea is, we can save the earth’s climate if we stop people from moving around so much.
And remember, this is another wonderful, enlightened and glorious idea from those in charge of the woke movement (and if you disagree, you lose social credit and risk being cancel-cultured).
Cheers!
Jenn
at 11:48 am
I don’t understand.
Link maybe?
Ace Goodheart
at 8:17 am
The roll out has begun. In all the papers today.
The “battle against the 15 minute city conspiracy theory”.
Ask yourself, why is it so important that this concept gets put into place ?
They did it in Oxford, UK and the first thing they did was set up cameras on roads leading out of the 15 minute zones, to catch anyone driving across the line.
You could walk or bike across, but driving outside of your 15 minute barrier was illegal. You could apply and pay for a 100 day exclusion permit if you really needed to cross the line in your car.
The result was large protests, which the media blamed on “conspiracy theorists”
They want to bring this to Toronto.
Ace Goodheart
at 10:00 am
The concept of the 15 minute city, in a nutshell, is this:
If you make it difficult for people to travel more than 15 minutes from where they live, then you force organizations providing goods and services to those people, to locate themselves within the “15 minute zone”.
So by restricting mobility of the residents, you can force companies who want to sell goods and services to those residents, to locate within their 15 minute travel zone.
It is a “world economic forum” concept: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/03/15-minute-city-stickiness/