More MLS Musings!

MLS Musings!

3 minute read

October 28, 2022

Oh man, have I got some weird ones for y’all today!

Feel free to tell me that today represents “quantity over quality,” but sometimes the message is better conveyed by showing you a whole lot of crazy, rather than one example of insane.

Where do we start?

Well, it’s almost Halloween, so how about something spoooky?

Parents: how do you think your kids would like this bathroom wallpaper?

I mean, I know that’s not blood, but try telling your 3-year-old that…

Continuing the Halloween theme, just how creepy and spooky would it be if you had a pinhole camera in each bedroom of your condo?

Further to the point, what if you used that spy-camera to take photos for your MLS listing when you go to sell the unit?

This definitely reminds me of a scene from a horror movie:

But why, just why would somebody do this when putting their condo on the market?

I haven’t been on a TTC subway in a decade.  Just being honest.

And yet for some reason, the “accent” wall in this condo, which happens to run the entire length of the condo, from the floor to the ceiling, reminds me of pulling up to Dundas Station, circa 1991:

How’s this mosaic for your shower?

It reminds me of one of those 1980’s sliding puzzles, like this vintage Dukes of Hazzard puzzle from 1981:

“If this kitchen could talk, what would it say?”

Well, thanks to this bizarre MLS photo, we don’t have to wonder…

Is there a shower in this basement bar?

Or is there a bed in the shower…….in the basement bar?

How long until this becomes a true “second bedroom” in downtown Toronto?

But seriously, let’s remember that these photos are from MLS listings for properties listed for sale!

For sale.

Like, the person wants to sell the condo.

And THIS is what they choose to put in the marketing!!

Not sure if you’re all caught up on the latest trends…

…..but, staging tigers are so hot right now!

“This weird ass condo is sponsored by Tim Horton’s!”

Either that, or the listing agent, who used his or her Blackberry for the photos, brought the seller coffee and donuts along with the listing paperwork…

What’s missing from this photo?

Gisele.

(ouch)

Sports fans and pop-culture fans understand…

One of the hardest hard lofts I’ve ever seen has steam pipes protruding from the wall right next to where one would put his or her head on a pillow…

From the files of “They don’t make ’em like they used to,” comes this kitchen brick wall that leads directly into a time warp:

I don’t know what to say about this one…

For this one, um, I call “BS” and can’t wait to see if the listing is actually terminated:

This agent clearly has no idea how “offer dates” and “pre-emptive offers” actually work:

Amazing.  Perhaps my favourite this week.

Who says the market is slowing down?

This condo just sold for a whopping 983% of the list price!

How is this for a sales pitch?

This listing agent was showing off his photo-shop skills…

…uh huh, so that’s the bedroom.  Got it.

And this room is the….. ?

Den!  Got it!

Here, I thought it was a closet!  Silly me!

And what’s last?

The toilet!

Not a bathroom or a washroom, but a toilet.

I suppose “Shitter” would have been weird.  But not as weird as the hands with the camera; the camera that is actually a camera, and not a phone.

Like, it’s 2022!

Who still carries one of these:

Last, but not least, this is the worst photo array I have seen in a long time.

We have vertical and horizontal.

We have portrait and landscape.

And we have snow.

No, not snow from this week, but snow from last year…

That’s an absolute all-timer, right there.

And I’m always amazed at how properties like this sit on the market for weeks with sideways photos, without the listing agent or the seller noticing!

Have a great weekend, everybody!

 

Written By David Fleming

David Fleming is the author of Toronto Realty Blog, founded in 2007. He combined his passion for writing and real estate to create a space for honest information and two-way communication in a complex and dynamic market. David is a licensed Broker and the Broker of Record for Bosley – Toronto Realty Group

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6 Comments

  1. Daniel

    at 8:50 am

    The outdoor bed is more sad than it is funny. Sign of the times.

  2. Nobody

    at 10:17 am

    I like the pinhole camera bedroom photos and the kitchen with the drawers open.

    Listings are still in a 2000 era mindset where it wasn’t practical/economical to post more than 10 photos. We can take hundreds of high quality photos just with a phone. Or go full Matter Port VR like better sale listings.

    Giving multiple angles helps people understand a space and having the cabinets open shows their condition and how much storage there actually is. More people can be comfortable buying/leasing without visiting and/or can limit showings to final confirmation, making it more efficient for everyone. Plus it can give incentives for owners to fix a sagging hinge, minor water damage, etc that they’re trying to pass off to the next rente/owner.

    So many listings either have bad photos or are being “creative” with angles. Which just wastes people’s time as you have to actually visit so many properties that are totally unsuitable. I’m not going to give you an offer at a price for a 700 sq ft 1 bed when it’s 400 sq ft but “artfully” shot.

    Take good photos with proper lighting and everything but aim for an accurate portrayal. Different clients want different things and you lose prospects that want smaller/darker/whatever spaces when you hide those facts.

  3. London Agent

    at 10:36 am

    David, is that your Dukes of Hazzard puzzle?

    Good zinger about Giselle, that news became official this morning per my fantasy football group chat. Also, good luck finding two other kids that are fans of the Patriots and the Predators of all teams.

  4. Pete

    at 10:40 am

    With something like the last array, can the seller force the agent to fix it? Obviously, you’d think the agent would want to keep the client happy, but what if the agent said, “oh it’s fine, I’m not going to change it”?

  5. JF007

    at 10:52 am

    What’s missing from this photo?

    Gisele.

    ROTF..LMAO

  6. Marina

    at 5:44 pm

    The shower mosaic thing could actually work in certain styles of houses. I’ve seen some pretty quirky design elements in some farmhouse type properties that really fit the space.

    That steam pipe situation, on the other hand, is just terrifying.

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