Imagine if somebody didn’t like statistical analysis, and hand-made charts copied-and-pasted from Microsoft Excel into Paint?  Then what would a newcomer to TRB think of this week’s blog posts?

We’re through the first two weeks of the fall market and despite all the stats and analysis, not much has happened yet.

So with that in mind, let’s have some fun today and talk behind the backs of real estate agents who do a poor job with their listings on MLS.

Sound good?

I’m going to start with my absolute favourite!

We’ll often laugh if we see a photo on MLS showing snow in the front yard, when the property is listed in the summer.

But what do you make of this “new listing” that hit the market this week, with the time-stamp in the lower right corner?

–

I understand that not everybody elects to “stage” their house or condo before going to market.

But if you have a doll that fits the very definition of “Creepy AF,” wouldn’t you place it inside your vintage 1920’s wooden chest of drawers before taking this photo?

–

Speaking of a refusal to remove certain items before taking photos, have a look at this house.

This kitchen is ass.

Can’t quite put my finger on why…

–

I feel the game, “Caption This” would be quite appropriate here.

But I’m more like the person who would say to my buddy, “I’ll give you a thousand bucks to go down that slide.”

–

Seriously, who’s idea was this?

Maybe Kevin McAllister is trying to show the “Wet Bandits” that people actually are home, and they shouldn’t rob the house?

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the brain of the person who says, “I have a great idea for my new listing…”

…then again, perhaps this is a growing trend?

–

Is this condo being robbed?

There’s a person dressed in dark black clothing from head-to-toe, including a black hoodie over his or her head!

But as strange as this is, I find it even more odd that the listing agent picked this as the feature photo on the listing – photo #1 of 8.

Why?

–

Virtual tours are great!

3D renderings and “doll-house” views are awesome!

But these tools are interactive!

A photo of the interactive tour defeats the purpose!

And just like the last one, this is also the darned feature photo for the listing!  #1 of 33!

–

Kudos for “thinking outside the box” here.

Imagine advertising a Ferrari “for marketing purposes” that was actually a Honda?

Same-Same.

–

I can’t think of a better contradiction:

A starter home.

BUT….

….you can never live there, because there’s a tenant with a lifetime occupancy agreement!

–

Speaking of contradictions, how about an agent listing a property without an “offer date,” but specifying the following:

I love the instructions here: “Please do the comparison before put in an offer,” excuse the broken English.

But my response would be, “Please list at real price before click submit.”

–

I actually don’t know what this was supposed to say…

–

If comparing a locker to a bedroom doesn’t show you just how sad our real estate market has become, then I don’t know what better examples we could think of.

But the best part?

They included a photo of the locker:

I mean, you could fit a bed in there, right?

Maybe even a king!

–

This listing on Boulton Avenue in Leslieville feels like it was captioned by every 44-year-old dad in the world:

–

You know I love photos where you can see the real estate agent using their iPhone!

This bathroom features a light fixture with one out of four bulbs working, a half-full bottle of Listerine, and the iPhone 7…

…but this bathroom below?  Wow!  It’s almost like the agent wants to be featured on MLS:

–

Another one of my all-time favourites is photos of running faucets.

There’s simply no shortage of these…

…poor water pressure here though:

…and this one features a dirty sink:

–

I suppose if you want to draw the attention away from these 1970’s kitchen cabinets, you can always put some time and effort into an oil panting of two people having sex:

–

Last, but certainly not least, this is might be the best Musing in years.

Look at the following photo array on MLS and tell me what you see?

Anything?

Look at the first photo.

Can you see the Windows toolbar at the bottom left of the screen?

These are photos of somebody’s screen!

For real.  This actually happened.

Somebody looked at photos on their computer, then took photos of the photos, with an iPhone (or Blackberry…) and used those photos for MLS!

Look at this!

They’re looking at the pictures in an application, hence the zoom/delete/like/crop icons at the top.

This is amazing.

To quote Verne Lundquist:

“In your life have you seen anything like that?”

Free coffee to the first person who can explain that reference.

Have a great weekend, everybody!