I’m not a designer.

I’m not an architect.

I’m not a builder.

I’m not an interior designer.

I’m not a city planner.

There are a lot things that I am not, in the context of designing and building houses.

However, I know enough to opine that the “conceptual drawing” of this house simply has green magic marker scribbled in place of the trees:

Tell me I’m wrong.

Tell me it’s art.

Tell me it’s adding that “je ne sais quois.”

But then tell me that, for $5,000,000,” you could have done better than your 5-year-old drawing this goddam tree:

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This next one was very interesting!

I had a listing earlier this year for a house that needed some love, but it was by no means a “gut” or a tear-down.

We sold this property for $915,000 amid nine offers.

Here’s a text message I received from one agent:

I had no clue what to make of this.

Buy the land?  Huh?  There’s a house on top of it!

Was this agent trying to out-smart us?  Or was he just not all that smart himself?

Now, here’s the best part.

Three days after the property was sold firm for $915,000 and updated on MLS, I received this text:

I ended the thread there.

I know that you probably wish I had continued, just for fun, and the sake of this blog.  But we can probably guess where this conversation would have gone, right?

Create your own caption.  Wrong answers only…

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This property brought out all the incompetent agents.

Here’s an agent asking me for my email address in a thread after I’ve sent him my email address:

Every agent was like this.  One after the next.

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Do you know how you can guarantee this next one isn’t from my phone?

Ninety-two unread messages!  If I have two, it gives me anxiety.

This is from a colleague who said, “You should put this on your blog!”

This is also an example of a listing agent who doesn’t understand the concept: “Don’t put it in writing.”

This is, by definition, discrimination.

I understand that many landlords don’t want roommates, but you do NOT put this in writing.

How stupid could this agent be?

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Here’s a message that one of my colleagues received on his basement apartment rental:

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Remember on Sesame Street when you played, “One of these things is not like the other”?

Let’s try the game with this…

“No Brainer”
“Badly Needed”
“Unnecessary”

Hmmm…

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Here’s a “lead” from the Realtor.ca website from a chap named Julian, inquiring about our $1,199,000 listing which sold for $1,585,000:

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Here’s a sales centre in 2021:

Here’s a sales centre in 1922:

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Here’s an awesome advertisement for the “City of Leaside” dating back to 1913.

I love this for so many reasons.

They have “a million dollars worth of lots,” which is about $500,000 shy of an entry-level home in the area today.

“Leaside is a town with mayor and councillors…”

Where’s my *heart* emoji?

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I suppose building standards have changed since 1913.

Here’s a subdivided lot with two new builds:

Just how close were these houses built together?

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I’m not clairvoyant.

I have no crystal ball.

But I don’t feel like I’m going out on a limb here when I suggest that this property might prove difficult to lease…

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Last, but not least, I think I posted this last year, but I’m not certain.

So you wanna be a landlord, eh?

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Now, having nothing to do with real estate, I just felt the need to share this.

My daughter asked me the other day why instead of saying “PVR” a television show or “record,” I say “we need to tape the F1 race on Sunday” instead.

I showed her this:

Have a great weekend, everybody!